A Birth in Pictures

Labor Story Here

And Then There Were Three

a birth story...

(reader's discretion, it is long and detailed :)

Birth Pictures

I really should be napping right now, but the details of all that happened this week just keep rushing through my head, begging to be written down before they are forgotten into the blur of sheer ecstasy of motherhood.

Early Labor

On Sunday night I went to bed with mild contractions and an active wombling, as was the usual. Usually the contractions subsided once I'd relaxed so didn't bother keeping track of them at this point. Around 12:45 I woke up and noticed I was still having contractions and that it felt like I was opening up more. I then kept a watch on the clock, looking for those every 5 minute contractions. Half an hour of these and the contractions began to get a bit stronger and I had to breathe a little differently through them. At 1:45 I woke up Josh and said I was having a lot of contractions and thought I should page my midwife. When the midwife called she gave me two options: 1. We could wait an hour and see if they continue, since I was still able to talk through the contractions or 2. they could come over and set everything up and see if I was ready. I felt two the second option was safer.

My midwife and her two assistants arrived at our apartment around 2:30. My contractions had definitely increased and required more focus to relax my way through them. Josh would hold me and we'd rock slow-dance-like as it was easier than sitting. Soon I got my bloody show as things were definitely starting to open up more. My back is where I felt most of the labor pains, which really hurt once I got into active labor.

Active Labor

I was very conscious of all that was going on and was able to think through things, which was a bizarre experience. It was strange to be aware of myself responding to labor in a way I wouldn't have guessed. For example, once the contractions started getting very painful in my back and I couldn't breathe regularly and had to moan through them. I was expecting an ordinary length labor - at least 6 hours - and so at this stage, at every contraction I kept thinking "How can I make it through 4 more hours of this?! If I was in a hospital I would have gotten drugs." (Probably not what I should have been thinking, haha!!) Josh breathed every breath and moaned every moan with me - in and out, in and out. I could NOT have made it through without him. Now knowing how quickly the labor had progressed it makes sense that I didn't have as much time to adjust to increasing intensity.

Transition

The birth tub (or "aqua-doula" haha!) took about 2 hours to get set up and filled with warm water. Around 4:30-ish I able to get in. I hit transition almost as soon as I got in. I could tell it provided instant relief in my back even though the contractions immediately became more intense. This is where my coping went from just moaning, to yelling into a towel as well as the typical transition insecurity where it felt like everything was impossible. Mentally, though, I was acutely aware of my body and what I needed to do. So even though I was yelling and moaning I was able to think "relax, open, let the 'flower' open, relax...etc." Being in the water also helped me be aware of what/where I needed to relax as the only "gravity" or pressure was the baby, so I was able to focus my energies. Looking back, this would have been SO much harder in a hospital or even in a bed - though I probably could have done it at a birthing center with a tub as well - I don't think I would have done so well in a hospital.

I thought laboring around my midwife and her assistants would be weird and uncomfortable, but to my surprise it wasn't. It was fantastic. They were reading books or sleeping and just being there, but letting me do my own thing. If I started to loose hope my midwife would peep in with controlled moans or an encouragement and get me back on track. One of the other assistants would check baby's heart rate every half hour and mine every two hours (ha, which only meant once!).

As the contractions got near pushing time Josh started applying ice cold compresses to my neck, which felt amazing. In between these very intense contractions I found I was able to completely relax, sometimes I even almost fell sleep for just a few moments before picking up the moaning-yelling-moaning pattern again to get through. I would lean over the birth tub draped on Josh to relax, but during the contractions I would hold on to the edges and yell into a towel and he would moan over and with me.

Pushing

After one contraction, one of the assistants asked if I had had a feeling to push because it looked like I did. I hadn't, but it made me more of aware of the possibility during the next contraction - in which I did have an urge to push. Getting into the pushing stage was both wonderful and terrifying. It was the point where I knew there was no going back, but that the only way I would find relief would be to go with my body and follow its urgings...which meant down and open. I recall only about 5 real pushes (for a total of 13 minutes) and basically gave my midwife the play by play. "I had to push" I said after the first urging. On the third push my water broke and I grunted through the contraction "My water broke!" I could feel the warmth of those fluids flood to my feet.

**Looking back I feel that being asked about "feeling pushy" ruined my concentration. I feel like I started working harder for my body instead of letting my body do its thing.**

Birth

On the fourth push my midwife asked if she could check me. I said no (I was being grumpy, haha! and then changed my mind but she respected my initial wish). She asked if I could feel the baby crowning and I couldn't. I had to stick my finger in to feel her head and there was no bulge or anything yet. But on that 5 push, I felt her bulge and crown and I yelled "She's coming out!"

I had my eyes closed through the push and felt her head come out and close around her neck and then felt her body slide out. Just as the sun was dawning over the crest of the Olympic Mountain range on May 3rd, Ella Rae made her own dawning at 5:33 am. The next moment I was up against the back on the tub with a baby crying beautiful cries in my arms and I cried out "There's a baby in my arms! There's a baby in my arms! Oh my goodness, oh my goodness!!" Apparently my midwife got down just as the head was coming out and brought her up. Josh was supposed to catch her, but there was just no time.

Post-Labor

When I finally opened my eyes she was there in my arms - a little grey, crying with her little newly found lungs. They cut her cord and then handed her off to Josh while I delivered the placenta. Which, after having a baby come through, something squishy felt great. After this I moved to my bed to be checked for tearing, which was soon determined that it was too severe for my midwife to fix. Thankfully, though, there was very little bleeding so it was not emergent. We were able to have Ella Rae examined at home. She weighed a whopping 7 lbs and was 19" long. She scored a very impressive 10 on her apgar test. :) I was also able to try feeding her before we left for the hospital.

**We think Ella's hand must have been up by her head - this is probably also why I had so much back pain**

Hospital Visit

At the hospital I had to be examined again which was much more painful than it had been earlier. They determined it was a stage 4 tear which went straight through the rectum (at the surgery they found the membranes between the canals were slightly torn as well). So I would need to be given an anesthesia and no one would be allowed in the surgery with me. Oh, how that hurt. But after talking to the anesthesiologist he said I would only need a spinal drug that would numb me from the ribs down and Josh would be able to accompany me. I had to get the anesthesia alone, which was a little scary, but it was great. They said I would feel a pinch, but I didn't feel even that - just pressure from the fluid entering my spine.

As I lay there, slowly getting number and number (a wonderfully bizarre feeling) I recall thinking of the chain of prayers that were going around - specifically among my family, parents and siblings - and I felt so blessed knowing that their prayers were going to heaven and being heard. Thank you so much for all the prayers and love, it gave me the hope I needed at just the right time. The surgery was 30 minutes, easy and painless and I just chatted away with Josh and laughed and talked about how cute out little Bugaboo was and marveled over what we just went through. :)

I still find myself reliving the actual moment when she was put into my arms. Which is also why I needed to write all this out because the details were keeping me awake at night! :) I feel so blessed to have been able to have a natural, home, peaceful birth and learn about my body this way. And I am also so thankful that there is medicine and hospitals available for when there is a real need. Both were a blessing, and both so important in this experience.

**Even though the birth was lovely, because of the intense pushing stage ("purple pushing" - literally burst blood vessels in my cheeks) I feel like I missed the actual birth since my eyes were shut so tight**

**I did NOT like the aqua-doula tub. It was uncomfortable and too firm. During the most intense part of labor, I was fighting to keep a towel rolled up on the edge just so I could rest my head comfortably. Next time I will get a blow-up generic kiddie pool that is softer, cheaper, and shallower.**