Ella Sleeping

Transitions

Transitions...I kind of love them. The process of going through, cleaning out, passing on, closing doors, saying goodbye. I feel light. I never knew a decision to move could be so relieving. I've realized how much I am capable of doing when I strive for it, I've found the courage to "just do it!", and I've also found the courage to say goodbye to things that are really just burdens - even if they are good in and of themselves.

I'm realizing just how much I'd bought into our consumerist culture that says "more is better". I'm realizing that I'm a highly sensitive person and that the clutter of my space affects not only my ability to think, function, and mother well, but it also affects the quality of my spiritual life. As the book, Simplify, so aptly put it - if you're closets are stuffed full and disorganized, what do you think you're like on the inside? This is so true for *me*.  I'm realizing how the environment of my home (and the location as well) has kept me from welcoming people into it without inhibition; that having everything I *think* I need has actually prevented neighborly connections (like, "hey, can I borrow....). I'm realizing the opportunities I've missed out on relationships with my neighbors here because of my fears. For the past three summers I've wanted to seek gardening advice from a woman down the street. I never did. And I regret it. I won't make that mistake again. In our new place, I'm just going to do it!

For the last year I've felt a major butting-heads of my mother-side and my artist-side. While I know I'm both and can do both, because of my "highly sensitive" personality, I can't do both well. For months I've pondered giving up my artist side, and I finally feel the freedom and permission to do that. My creative side consumes me when it gets going and it negatively affects my relationships and frustrates me. And I'm excited to have the courage to say goodbye. Perhaps God will have a place for my artist side down the road, but it's just not now.

I'm excited for this new transition. Even though my living room is completely cluttered with purge-items for a garage sale, and the craziness of packing and moving are imminent, I feel lighter, freer, and more in control of myself than I have in a long time. While I'm purging my crap, I find I'm purging my heart. While I simplify my home, may God simplify my heart.

From our first ever garage sale. Meeting people was so fun!

Tree Watching

Watching the tree in our front yard be felled. Trucks, ropes, tools...so many interesting things to watch!

I loved that tree and I'm sad it's gone. 

16 Months

You wave at everyone as we walk by, like a Miss America.

You are trying to jump and skip. 

You are taking your naps by yourself, though they don't last very long. It's a nice change. 

When you wake up you walk out to come find me (often crying). It's quite adorable. Though you always go to the bathroom first to find me - do you think that's my hang out place?

You take your clothes off and work hard to get them back on. You are a very savvy little bum wiper. 

You've started saying "mammy" and "babby" instead of "mama" and "baba".

You love dirt and flowers and sticks. 

You still love babies and will often snuggle one as you go to sleep. 

This month you've been cutting all the molars. 

You like to help to help: mow, put things away, get Ella or me to stand up or put our clothes on.

You help us sing The Great Amen at bedtime: "Aaaaaaaaaaaa!"
You go around and give us all hugs and kisses before snuggling down to sleep.

You are a very clear communicator, though you don't use words or signs too much. You cry in sentences that you've usurped from Ella "I'm ready!" "I'm hungry!" "Mama where are you?" "I don't want to!" And while you love people, you also like your "just being" time. I wonder you're more of an introvert or creative highly sensitive person. What will you've like, Little?

Mowing

This is the way we now the grass, mow the grass, now the grass...

Daddy Moments

Ella snuck a "drink" into Daddy's bag when he went on his trip.

When Daddy's Gone

We pick strawberries...and play with carts and go to weddings.

The girls and I attended Nathan and Jennifer's wedding. Clayton was a huge help and quickly became the girls' best friend. Upon getting into the car to leave for the reception, Ella said "I think we should sit next to him. I think Avila would like that." It was a beautiful wedding and fun reception. All that was missing was Josh. And then we spent the night at the Caldwell's, which the girls loved.